


Kageyama Tobio Is Tired

by orphan_account



Series: Kageyama Tobio Is The Epitome Of Angst [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cutting, Depressed Kageyama Tobio, Depression, Established Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Established Relationship, Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio Friendship, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio Fluff, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kageyama Tobio Angst, Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, Kageyama Tobio is a Mess, Karasuno, Karasuno Family, Loneliness, Lonely Kageyama Tobio, M/M, Minor Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Sad Kageyama Tobio
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:28:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28916112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Kageyama's tired of staring at his reflection in the mirror. He's tired of waking up everyday. He's tired of going to school.He's tired of himself.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Series: Kageyama Tobio Is The Epitome Of Angst [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2134332
Comments: 4
Kudos: 174





	Kageyama Tobio Is Tired

Tobio Kageyama.

What was the first thing that came to your head?

An egocentric King who's horrible at communicating and had a rough past, right? 

Well, that's right.

But he's trying.

And he's so, so tired of everything. He's tired of seeing his reflection in the mirror every night. He's tired of the crimson liquid oozing down his skin. He's tired of the way his teammates could dismiss everything that he does (tries) to do. He's tired that Tsukishima can just get away with bullying him. 

The only thing that he wasn't tired of was Shouyou Hinata. 

The person that came to your mind was a bubbly, orange-haired boy who's the epitome of sunshine, right?

Well, that's right.

That's it. That's just right. 

Hinata's so amazing. Even though he'd never say these words until after death, he really looks up to Hinata. He admires how Hinata can so easily communicate with the team. He admires how Hinata can make friends with anyone (and I mean anyone). He admires Hinata as a whole.

He's tired of thinking that he's not enough for Hinata. 

He's tired of himself.

Kageyama is not okay. And he hasn't been okay for a while. And that's okay. But, he doesn't think it is. How can he be a setter for his team when his mental health is so dangerously low that he can't sleep at night? His depression graves over him as if the sun had left. As if all that he can see is darkness. He's lost all hope. His wings were tied together. He couldn't fly with the others. He was grounded. But, he wanted to fly away with his friends. With his boyfriend.

Every day, he just wants to tie that noose and kick the chair, but his mind goes back to Hinata.

Fucking Hinata.

Fuck him for keeping him alive. (Not.)

Hinata was so fucking stubborn, that he wouldn't leave his mind. That all he thought of was Hinata, volleyball, and depression nowadays (well, it's always been like that).

Kageyama couldn't even cry. He was so empty inside that he had no tears to cry. He stayed hydrated, but the salty tears wouldn't engulf his eyes before drooling down his cheeks. Honestly, he was almost grateful, but he wasn't. He wanted to cry. At this point, he was begging to feel the pain to make sure that he was still human.

Kageyama felt like he was suffocating with all this air around him.

Despite everything, Kageyama still continued. Although he had the weight of 100 buildings on his back, he continued to be a setter. He continued to try to communicate with his team, ("Azumane-san, would you like it higher? Lower?! Faster?! Slower?! Closer to the net?! Farther from the net?! Give me suggestions, please! How can I improve?!") and poor Asahi had to get caught up in it. 

His teammates had begun to laugh at him. Even Hinata would shoot him looks that made it seem like he was laughing. Kageyama was devastated. His teammates, of course, meant no harm at all, but he was completely shocked.

At this point, he'd accept anybody's help. Hinata. Sugawara. Daichi. Ukai. Hell, he'd even fucking accept Oikawa or Kindaichi right now. He just wanted a shoulder to collapse onto. To cry on. 

Why did nobody notice how much he was hurting?

Kageyama finally accepted that he was a lost cause. That he should just focus on continuing to be a setter and fuck the feelings out the door, even if it refused to leave. He'd just have to continue being a setter (because Suga might steal his spot, leaving him on the bench which would definitely kill him right then and there.) with these feelings looming over him like a dark shadow. 

But then, one day...

"Kageyama-kun? Can we talk?"

Kageyama whipped his head over to see Daichi sitting next to him on the bench. Immediately, questions began flooding into Kageyama's mind. Had he done something wrong? Was he going to be kicked off the team?! No, that'd be going a bit too far. But, was he in trouble? Kageyama swore that he was trying his best to be a good teammate. Was he not enough?! It's really hard to keep going on in life at all when you're depressed! He was trying so hard!

"Uh, yeah," Kageyama said, growing anxious at the second.

"Alright, everyone. Come over here." Daichi said, gesturing his teammates to come over. 

Kageyama froze. What the hell was happening?! Was he really being kicked off the team?! No, no, no! This can't happen! Volleyball is his life!

"U-Um... i-if this is about my skills as a setter, I can improve!" Kageyama said, frantically.

Sugawara smiled, softly. "Sorry, Kageyama. This isn't about you being a setter, because you're amazing at volleyball as a whole."

Hinata sighed, walking up to him and taking his hands in his. "Kageyama-kun..."

"W-What's going on, babe?" Kageyama asked, pupils dilating in fear.

"God, you idiots are so slow to get to the topic." Tsukishima facepalmed. "He's shaking in his boots."

"He doesn't have boots on!" Nishinoya said.

"It's a figure of speech, Nishinoya-san." Yamaguchi smiled.

"Shut up!" Daichi said, intimidatingly while made them go quiet.

"Kageyama-kun..." 

Here it comes.

"...are you okay?"

What?

"What?" Kageyama asked, staring at Hinata in disbelief.

"Are you okay, Kageyama?" Hinata asked.

"What?!" Kageyama asked, again. Had he heard that right?

"You're always showing up to practice with eyebags, and your sets lost passion! You even denied my cuddles and kisses yesterday-" Hinata said.

"Too much information," Tanaka said.

"-a-and you- you seem so sad, lately! What's going on, Kageyama-kun?" Hinata asked.

"You guys..." (care about me?)

"What's wrong, Kageyama?" Sugawara asked.

"You know we all love you, Kageyama-kun. We care about you, so tell us what's wrong. Please." Hinata said.

We all love you.

We care about you.

Kageyama hasn't heard those words since he was in junior high before his only parental figure passed away. 

And so, the dam that held Kageyama's tears back burst, and Kageyama stared at the ground in shame, letting his tears drip down, his entire body shaking, his hands to his feet. 

And he was pulled into a large group hug, everyone engulfing him into a tight, tight embrace.

Kageyama's still not okay. And nobody knows when he will be, but right now...

he just wants to enjoy this.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed my one shot! I'm kinda getting used to AO3, but not really lmao. You can find more of my stories on Wattpad. @tobiosvolleyball


End file.
